Not This Way

Yes, I've mentioned that to become braver after R would be one of the things I will work towards to. 

But I didn't know that I would be so brave to play with a lighted match in hope that I would never get burned. 

How dare I entrust my entire happiness on someone, whose past could be my nightmare forever?

 

How dare I put myself in the arms of someone, whom have had so many girls in them before me? 

I know that it's all in the past. And I really don't know what made me so brave, brave enough to fuck care and trust in him to change and stay for me. 

I have been made insecure because of his past. It's so easy for him to get one or a dozen girls to get his attention and vice versa. 

I have been made weak because despite being insecure and afraid, I know I can't afford to lose him. Despite all that negativity, he's the reason to my laughter. 

Yet, he has also been the reason why my eyes are running dry. Am I suppose to feel this way? No. Yet, I can't help it, because clearly, he has got the upper hand here and I'm just vulnerably in love.

xx