One of those nights

04:16am

This melancholy heartache, the familiar feeling of missing you so badly. I really wish you are still here with me. Things would have been so much more different and better.

This is really difficult and the pain gets more and more raw every time I think about you.

I hope you know that I would give up years of my life to have you live longer, to see me graduate from university, get married, and have kids that you can hold and love cause I know you love children and you love to take care of their needs. My best meals are those that were prepared by you and you know my favorite dishes. Even with minimal education, you taught me many things that the school would never teach. You made me love cooking and the meaning in cooking for the one I love - you haven't met him, but I would love to show you off to him and him to you.

There are so many things I wanna tell you about for the past 5 years. And there's still so much more that I haven't done with you. I miss everything about you, grandma.

I really miss you so much. :'(

xx