∞

Second day into his new job and I'm still stuck here trying very hard to understand and get used to his irregular schedule. Something I don't understand as to why he would be so okay and happy even to take up a job like this. It's only temporary for a week, to let him get a hang of what the company do on a daily basis (but what if they continue expecting this of him given how flexible he's proven himself to be). I think this is rather ridiculous.

I'm trying to be as supportive as I can be, but the time apart and time taken away from him to text me is getting to me. Worse off, the fact that he doesn't get to go home and get a proper bath because of a seemingly fully packed timetable that is, like I mentioned above, irregular. Crazily shortchanging him given how much he's being paid during this so-called "probation" period.

He says he's happy there. I could tell that he is and I'm trying to be happy for him but I am just not feeling it yet. It's good that he is, that's all I can say.

Here I am, hoping to get over the unhappiness that sets in every now and then, and I really do hope that my biggest fear won't come true - what the lack of quality time can do; that we'll be distant, or rather, I would get used to functioning alone in a regular time zone. Because even after this hell week, the only "regular" is that we get once a week, probably and realistically, less than 10 hours a day. So we'll just have to see how that will work out for us.

Honestly though, if you were to ask me to describe explicitly what I'm unhappy about, I wouldn't be able to tell you unless you are in my shoes. But other than me, myself and I, no one else gets to wear my shoe and feel what I'm feeling.

It's tough..


xx